And the one or two white guys in the mix had hair. Are you a veteran of L. We want to publish your story. Two weeks later, I climbed in the passenger seat of the bald white guy's truck when he picked me up from my apartment in Miracle Mile. Hmm … he drove a pickup truck. And I knew from talking to him on the phone that he was from the South. I smiled as he told me he'd made a reservation at Ammo. So far, so good. I liked that place. As we drove along, I surreptitiously glanced at him — he was wearing a nice suit, having come straight from his office to get me.
He had mentioned he was a lawyer, so I'd already mentally checked the box for gainfully employed. But something else was on my mind. No matter how advanced a society we think we are, the idea that we're post-racial is laughable. Over the years working in numerous writers rooms as the only black writer, I'd become a pro at deciphering comments white guys made:. This guy was from Georgia. To be fair, I'm from the South. Raised in Florida, I know about chewing tobacco, gator farms, 2 Live Crew, y'all, and the Confederate flag.
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For that reason, I started getting nervous about this guy. What if I were part of some Dixieland fantasy of his? After we were seated I asked him how many black girls he'd dated. Whenever we went somewhere with a lot of black people in attendance, I got the side eye from some of them.
My dating outside the race was seen as a betrayal. Their thought bubble hovered, clear as day: And some days, it was tough because I felt guilty for not completing the picture of the strong black couple. Another time, my boyfriend got a call from his ex-girlfriend.
Word had spread through the Caucasian grapevine. I was working on a sitcom at the time. When I told the writers on the show I was dating a white guy from the South who drove a pickup truck, I could tell they were skeptical. The kicker was when we went to the wedding of one of his friends in Cape Girardeau, Mo. I'm not exaggerating when I say white people stared at us as we walked down the street. If we had them, they would be "multiethnic" or "biracial" or "mixed heritage.
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But I was getting ahead of myself, right? Was I in this or not? Was I ready to be committed to a guy whose family owned shotguns and went to the Waffle House? My parents were both college professors. His parents hadn't gone to college. My parents were Baha'is who didn't celebrate Christmas. His dad played Santa Claus in various malls below the Mason-Dixon line during the yuletide season.
My boyfriend listened to emo rock, for God's sake!
I loved that he shared a house off Sunset with a gay, Pakistani performance artist. I loved that he'd had the same Rottweiler for a pet since high school. Twenty percent of Asian men married a non-Asian in , compared with 40 percent of Asian women. Likewise, black women are much less likely to intermarry than black men.
Most Americans Marry Within Their Race
More than one-fifth of black men intermarried in , while just 9 percent of black women did. There has been much speculation about why these gender preferences exist—reasons that delve into racial stereotypes and politics. Hispanic men and women are about as likely to marry outside their ethnic group, and they tend to marry non-Hispanic whites more than other groups. The likelihood of choosing a marriage partner of another race or ethnic group is also influenced by the available pool of people of the appropriate age and with a similar educational background, because most people marry someone close in age and educational level.
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This partly explains why U. Both white and black Americans have plenty of potential partners within their own groups.
Asians, on the other hand, make up only about 4 percent of the U. And they are the group most likely to marry out. Nearly 31 percent of Asians marrying in had a non-Asian spouse, about the same percentage as in This demographic change has other effects: Foreign-born Asians are less likely to marry out than U. For the same reasons, intermarriage by Hispanics has declined since About one-quarter of Hispanic men and women married non-Hispanics in But the Pew report already documented a recent uptick in intermarriage among Hispanics and Asians, as immigration has slowed and the proportion of Hispanics and Asians who were born in the United States has grown.
Will the more tolerant attitudes people express toward intermarriage be matched by actual intermarriage rates?
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There are many reasons to expect continued increases in intermarriage in coming decades. One prime reason is that the population is becoming increasingly diverse—culturally, ethnically, and racially. Americans reaching marriage age over the next two decades are probably the most racially diverse generation ever, and it will be surprising if they do not intermarry more often than previous generations.
About 44 percent of the population under age 18 in was Hispanic, black, Asian, or another non-white group, compared with about 35 percent of the total U. In addition, more Americans have personal experience with intermarriages involving their families, friends, and work colleagues, which lends a normalcy to these unions. The Pew survey reported that one-third of respondents said they had a family member married to someone of another race or ethnic group. Pool of Potential Spouses a Factor The likelihood of choosing a marriage partner of another race or ethnic group is also influenced by the available pool of people of the appropriate age and with a similar educational background, because most people marry someone close in age and educational level.